Famous Medical Dishes of India.
©️ Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Grilled Specialist:
This dish is the typical medical fast food in India. While the hospital management grills the doctor for more numbers and revenue, patients and relatives grill him / her on the other side for maximum availability and best outcomes at minimum cost. Usually served with side dish of defamation salad as nobody is satisfied.

Stir-Fry Doctor:
The doctor is fried under high flames, stirred between aggressive relatives, poor staff situation, legal formalities and paperwork, and media criticism. One can add the hot sauce of jealous criticism by one’s own colleagues.

Barbecue Doctor:
Caught up in the machine, this doctor has been marinated since school days for best performance, spiced with merits in different subjects, garnished with medals, and groomed for either family-run or corporate hospitals with premium ‘customers’. He / she has no way out, and is usually barbecued to perfection, relished by trained medical giants.

Baby Doctor Chutney:
Goes with all specialties. Crush freshly made excellent baby doctors till they bleed with overwork, add the salt of insults and humiliation, garnish with pungent examples of one’s own issues with past abuse, and then serve in different departments. They add taste to whatever stale career the specialist is trying to pull off as exciting.

Professor Soup:
Comes with every dish above, a favourite in all teaching institutes. Whether you like it or not, this is the first thing you must swallow hot. Tasteless, traditional, huge and inevitable. Rarely very tasty and appetising.

Admin Chaat:
This dish can be potentially quite delicious, if the proportion of ego is adjusted well. Some of this chaat can be a challenge to digest for those who do not eat it in the right place.

Junior Dum Biryani:
Make chunky pieces of junior doctors and threaten them with poor results so they become smooth and juicy. Blend them with traditional spices of different regions and cook slow. The most favourite meal in all hospitals.

Lady Doctor Roast:
This dish is made when a lady doctor achieves something extraordinary in her field, or is better than those surrounding her. United efforts to roast her reputation by using the cheapest spices of defamatory allegations and secretly enjoying this dish together is common.

Bosogulla:
This is a favourite dish among all doctors working in private hospitals. To sit together and talk about the boss, various aspects of his / her personality and plans, and to make a combined strategy to finish this dish makes it a a great choice!

Doctor Bheja Fry:
These are made when a doctor is completely screwed up mentally and physically by continuous demands at work and from the family, getting no rest or respite at either place. If not had in time, it becomes bitter and rancid very quickly. A killer dish!

Special ICU Khichadi:
When many specialists come together to treat a complicated case, no one has a clue about the whole, but the intensivists save face by pretending to know all ingredients and the whole recipe. This dish is favourite among pseudo-specialists.

India Special Bisi Belle Bath Pizza:
Made together by combination of Allopathy, Ayurveda, Homeopathy and other pathies as toppings, the base is a tasty sauce of patient’s choice of general practitioners. The sauce is made by the assumption that patient is the king. Served to those who truly deserve it.