House in the sun and ‘she’
(On the occasion of International Women’s Day)
(C) Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Pune / Mumbai
“My elder brother is very angry sir- even mother can’t say anything in front of him. He raises his hand on us a lot of times. Drunk mom, beats me with kicks. He has a friend, they both drink together everyday. That friend has a bad eye, he won’t let me get married by telling my brother. When our father left, mother took care of us, educated us, but when brother grew up, he changed a lot – now he has all the family accounts in his hands, giving us the household expenses as a favor. We don’t tell anyone all this, but now I can’t see my mother’s suffering, so I’m making my mind open with you. Please don’t tell your mom. I’ve flipped upside down. People call me good to look, I had come back by telling ten twelve places. But my brother said he will not marry me until he gets married, then I kept quiet. There was a classmate of mine – asked me to hide and marry and run away, but I didn’t even tell him what will happen to my mother. We don’t know what to do. Mother’s pain in it” She kept her head down looking at the floor and gazing.
Her mother had neck and back pain for years, so six a month ago they both met me, when they were diagnosed with a rare type of arthritis. Many types of arthritis causes terrible pain to all muscles, so did they. It stopped hurting after starting treatment, but that mother started crying every time she met. If asked “what happened” they don’t want to answer. Today his daughter came alone and told me all this. It is sad that we have to see such a helpless situation in many doctors, not having any help on it. We can fight with death, and overcome illness, but hearing the stories of such mothers and sisters who have suffered hell alive due to the injustice practices in the society that the leaders who fill their trumpets in the name of many great men see the injustice to women in their own society The question arises whether they are not there. By making mother-sister-wife to be carried out at home, processioning cars, behaving rudely in the food of alcohol, treating a god like a servant, beating a woman like a goddess in the house is seen every day.
Putting a glass of water in front of her I said “Calm down sis. Let’s try to find a way on this. “Our counselors are very experienced, they will help you”.
So terrified she said “no no doctor- last year a social worker in our neighborhood came to convince my brother that he had kept us in hold for four days- why they were told. And that woman was also drunk and abused, threatened. Our caste leaders take care of him, that’s why he doesn’t listen to anyone. “
I kept thinking. After a while, she said “Doctor you didn’t tell me to do anything, I was feeling like going inside, so she said. Feeling better now. This is in our fate – someone built our house in the sun, who will do what to it? … Thank you! “And she went away.
Women at home are considered to be secondary, weak and “social system for washing-pots-kitchen-house-boys”. There are women who also say “this is my happiness”! There is definitely no shortage in doing all this, but not getting the same respect, credit and financial freedom is definitely injustice.
Such injustice is seen in almost all communities from uneducated workers in the slums to higher education. It is unfortunate that husband, man is not allowed to do anything without asking, asking for money for simple needs, having to cook the man’s choice daily. The secret meaning of “I get tired from outside” is applied in our society as “wives don’t get tired of homework”. There are many impotent people in our society who think that raising hands on women is a sign of masculinity. Women come forward and ask for help, complaining are the ways that are closed in many communities. In some small cases, the opposite side is sometimes seen- a woman makes a family feel empathy by making aggression, false accusations, etc. but it’s less! Very short time relatives who treat women at home with respect are found in the hospital.
I sincerely wish there should be an anonymous helpline for women trapped in such hell of cruel families.
On this “Women’s Day” we can definitely think/determinate to truly treat the women in our home with respect, and give them freedom. Big female scientists, artists, actresses, politicians, journalists will be honored on Women’s Day, but I pray that two assuring words of honor should be spoken for women who have their tongue tied at home and living in the sunny houses!
(C) Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Pune / Mumbai