*SLAP study for covid treatment* The Ramdev way

*SLAP study for covid treatment*

Covid is taking too many lives. Many treatment modalities are being recommended by many people e.g. Cow urine, Herbal Eye drops, Cow dung, Herbal Paste etc.

From the ages we have known that the human hand is very powerful tool. The power of Human Hand is known to all and there is no need to elaborate it’s uses. *Abhaya Mudra* is well described in our ancient books. It is said to help overcome fear and to develop strong deep security. It is said to open up our Chakras or Energy channel and aid free flow of Prana. One day a thought came to my mind: “Why not use Human Hand to treat Covid”. With this background we started a study to check my treatment.

*Slap Treatment protocol:* A slap on the patient’s right cheek in the morning, and a slap on left cheek in the evening. The reason behind this is to transfer the energy generated in our hand to the patient.

*Study*: We enrolled 100 covid positive patients in SLAP Study. All the patients were monitored with temperature and Pulse Oximetry. All the patients received a slap in the morning and another, at night. All the slaps were given by a single person, the Author.

The endpoint of the study was covid negative RTPCR report.

60 people had fever which came down in next 3 to 4 days. 10 people had body pains, weakness and headache which too resolved in a day or two. Four people developed severe breathlessness and gasping. Probably these four were Non-believers of our treatment. We didn’t want non-believers in our study. So, we sent these four out of the study.

After 15 to 20 days all the 96 patients had negative report.

*Results*: the success rate of Slap treatment was 96%. Death rate was 0%

As an extension of the study we followed up the four Non-believers who were sent out. All the four received treatment in Allopathy Hospitals. We studied their treatment, so as to compare with our Slap treatment. We even studied the amount earned by these hospitals.

The following are the treatments they received.

1. City tour: The first treatment these patients received was a city tour. They were taken to a room with a big dome like vehicle and were allowed for ten minutes ride. They were charged around 5k for this tour. When the hospital is in the city itself, we fail to understand the need for a special city tour. Instead of spelling it fully with “CITY”, they spell it “CT”. Such lazy people are these Allopathy doctors.

2. Oxygen: every day the patients were charged in thousands for oxygen therapy. Our mother earth has 1 million billion tonnes of free oxygen. But these greedy doctors are charging money for it.

3. Ventilation: Tens of thousands are being charged by hospital, when a simple opening of Windows and doors gives such a good ventilation.

4. Peep: I guess the doctor peeps once in a while through patients’ door. They charge huge amount for it. These allopathy doctors don’t even know how to spell PEEP. They spell it PAAP. Wait, as we said earlier, they are lazy too. They just use one A instead of two. PAP, a nice way to earn money.

5. If they want more money, they invent something called Continuous Peeping, wherein the doctor continuously peeps into the patient’s room. They call it CPAP.

3 out of 4 patients died during Allopathy treatment. One of them survived. So, the Success rate of Allopathy treatment is just 25%. Whereas Death rate is 75%.

*Slap treatment vs Allopathy treatment*: Success rate of slap treatment is 96% vs 25%. Death rate of slap treatment was 0% vs 75% in Allopathy treatment.

*Conclusion*: Our Slap treatment was more effective than Allopathy treatment and it is much cheaper. Presently it is available for free, but if it becomes popular, and as patients increase, we may charge for each slap. It doesn’t work in Non-believers and sinners. Whoever develop complications despite slap treatment, are sinners. So, the fault lies in them, but not in our treatment. Whoever opposes this treatment is opposing our ancient heritage.

I heard that a person got permission to sell his covid capsules, after a similar study, and that he is making crores of rupees. I am hoping for a similar permission to sell my slaps.

*PS*: Of late, I’ve been hearing people, who have no knowledge about a scientific study, speaking about various Unscientific covid treatments like herbal eye drops, Herbal paste, cow urine etc. I’ve been hearing people, who don’t know anything about CPAP, Ventilators etc. speaking ill about Allopathy doctors without understanding the services they have been rendering. Even some learned ones are coming up with Unproven modalities as treatments without comparing with Placebo and Non-intervention. It pains me when I hear all these. This is a satirical ventilation of my anguish.

Dr. Murali Mohan Gurram

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